The Nerd Diaries

There are so few symbols as iconic and monumental as the “S” Superman symbol… maybe the McDonalds “M” and the sign of the cross are up there too. In less than a century, the S of Superman has become the sign for the superhero: The hero of modern day fantasies with phantasmal powers that can solve any problem with his or her abilities. 

So after a failed reboot of the series a few years ago, and a keen observation made about the success of the Nolan Batman trilogy, DC thought it had a good idea about how to make the “perfect” Superman movie. And maybe that’s the core issue of Man of Steel. It tries to be perfect. No movie is perfect. It was as if the script and movie were built on the fact that it has to be as grand and epic as is humanly possible in a 2 and a half hour movie, instead of trying to make a genuinely good movie. 

The movie starts off on Krypton, with a well-polished origin story. Russell Crowe as Jor-El, Superman’s biological father, captivates and is one of the star performances of the film. After an epic introduction we fast-forward to Earth. Clark is tagging along on different routes to the north, trying to follow up on evidence of an alien ship. This is never really explained though, and I was happy that I had read an earlier review that stated this. The lack of grounding in this early scene is done in an attempt to have Clark be mysterious, and stealthy: a true “secret” God among us. 

The major problem of the film was the zero character development. I don’t think the overly-brooding character was Zak Snyder’s fault. I think DC blindindly saw the success of Nolan’s Batman series, and demanded an equally brooding Superman… not realizing the love of Superman comes from the exact opposite. Again, I don’t see Cavill’s performance at fault. It felt as if he could’ve delivered a marvelous Clark if given the chance. But remember, DC wants you to remember how “grand” this character is, so whenever Clark/Superman isn’t brooding or looking mysterious (and particularly sexy), it almost feels uncomfortable and extremely out of place, even though it shouldn’t feel like that! The choice to make him more serious was taken way too far and way too out of context. This is Superman/Clark Kent, not Batman… Even as angry as Christian Bale’s Batman got, he had an exorbitant amount of charm as Bruce Wayne.

Lois Lane… how to begin. She felt almost useless. Scenes with Lois and Perry in the beginning are a refreshing break from the overly Herculean scenes that plague the rest of the movie. She is some of the movie’s only charm, but after showing the glimpses familiar flare and spunk that we’ve come to know in Lois, her character quickly transforms into a stolid plot device. 

As I’ve said, this movie tried to be monumental. There were scenes included that I think some producers sat down and thought “Oh wow, these could totally be deeply analyzed!” Like Clark being bullied and pushed to the ground, while holding a book about Plato’s philosophies… He’s 11. Or Clark speaking to a priest for advice, with a glass-pane of Jesus staring down at him. I mean… really? Completely unnecessary. When Jor-El says in the beginning of the movie, as well as in the main trailer, “He’ll be a God to them,” DC really tries to prove that! By shoving the idea down our throats! We get it! 

There are shining lights of the movie. For one: the action. Long have Superman fans waited for a live-action series that had the budget to create a big bad-ass fight between Superman and a star villain like Zod. Zak Snyder, director of 300 and Watchmen, was the perfect director to pull this off. Superman faces off some of Zod’s cronies in downtown Smallville, and you can practically feel every punch being delivered. No Kryptonite islands in site! 

The idea that Clark is “the answer to ‘are we alone in the universe?’” is played upon a few times. The whole mythology of Krypton is definitely intoxicating and imaginative. I found myself as curious and amazed as Clark seemed to be. Whether or not it stayed 100% true to the source material, the back-story developed for this Superman was definitely on-par and with little flaw. 

If you’re a fan of film scores, you’ll appreciate the brilliant score by Hans Zimmer, the new John Williams. Zimmer’s score is really one of the true “epic” things about the movie. Listening to the score alone makes me feel hopeful and alive and meaningful in this large universe. It’s perfectly interwoven with the action of the film, and the film could not have been the same without it. If the film couldn’t capture the fact that Superman truly is a “God,” the score definitely did. 

Performances by Michael Shannon and Laurence Fishburne, playing Zod and Perry White respectively are also some of the star points of the movie, whose scenes flourish and remain forever interesting. 

Ultimately, DC set to make a darker Superman, to launch a Justice League series. They did. Unfortunately, in my opinion, they made him too brooding and unemotional. Cavill could’ve given more flare to the performance, but the script hardly allowed it. The disappointment of this movie lies in its potential. I can see where it could’ve been a 10/10 and it really bothers me that they don’t see it as well. DC needs to remember the hero is called “Superman,” not Godman. Man of Steel was origin origin origin, final action, final action, real final action with no in between. 

The movie did, at moments, have a very distinct charm to it; something that is recognizable in past Superman scenes. I walk away from this movie, wishing that it had had 10 times as much of that charm. Hopefully now that the big battle is over, we can see more of it in a sequel that’s bound to come. Cavill and Adams can be the Clark and Lois we love if given the opportunity. I already like them DC. Let me love them!

At the end of the day, I’d say go see it. Superman is iconic as I said, and I think he deserves to be given a chance. And it’ll definitely be a chance for you. You may hate it, or you may actually be caught up in grandness of it, and it may work 110% for you. Or you could be like me and wonder about what it could’ve done better. 

I give it a 5.8/10. You’ve never seen a superhero movie like this, and I don’t think you’ll ever see Superman like this again, so why not give it a shot?

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************SPOILER SPOILER SPOILERS*********************

*****SPOILER***** The end of the movie and final Zod/Supes scene.

I’d like to talk about one of the final scenes, so please scroll down to see my discussion.

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…so he kills Zod? Hmm…. When he cracked his neck, my jaw dropped and it stayed like that for a solid five minutes. What to think of this? I mean, it breaks Superman’s golden rule, but this Superman is very new to the world and to himself. He’s not the iconic hero of Metropolis yet; only a rookie. 

On one hand, I roll my eyes and go “Yeah DC, we get it. You want to make Superman dark.” So he kills Zod…? 

But on the other hand, I look at the movie, and see how it connects to the themes that they are shoving down our throats. Clark isn’t human, but he will shape the human race, like a god. He knows that you shouldn’t kill, even if that “lesson” doesn’t represent him wholly yet. The act of “killing.” He does it for us, ala “suffering emotionally for our own sins.” (When he screams out, he acknowledges how he didn’t want to reach that point, because he’s always held back from that). But now he realizes that he’ll do what we shouldn’t because he is the God among us. He will make the mistakes for us, because he believes he is invulnerable enough to withstand the blowback. 

Killing Zod obviously wasn’t Clark’s ideal plan. He tried to subdue him as much as possible, but Zod is a warrior by birth as explained. There is no subduing Zod. Is Zod the exception to Clark’s golden rule? Are there allowed to be exceptions for Superman? Should we hold him to the same standards as us? As I was saying, Clark knows it’s wrong, but if someone has got to do it, then he will… because it is his people, and Zod’s people decimated half of Metropolis because of Clark.

What about you? How far could your rule stretch? Is the end of the planet acceptable enough to break the rule? Even though thousands had probably already died in Metropolis, what was it about the family of four that Clark couldn’t bear to witness? Maybe it was just that: the witnessing. He must realize that people have been killed already, but after kissing Lois he thought the battle was over. Killing Zod was the surefire way to end Zod’s tyrannical ambitions. Zod admitted that he was programmed at birth, so was Clark really killing a “Kryptonian?” One that had roamed the stars before? Or was Clark destroying the result of the failure of the long-dead Kryptonian race and just getting rid of a machine? 

All things to keep in mind. I wanted to vent this all myself, because the killing has got me thinking a lot. While at first, I thought it was just done to make him darker, but after acknowledges what they were teaching us the entire movie, I felt it had to be more than that. 

So I have been VERY excited for the Oscars this year. I saw 29 films in 2012 in theaters, from action to indie, rom com to horror. I saw it all. So naturally I was very curious to see what would be nominated. And now that we’ve come to it, there have been a lot of surprises. After reading everything I wanted to post my own thoughts. 

My Top 10 Movies of 2012: (in order) 

(Film - What stood out) 

1. Moonrise Kingdom (The directing, writing, and quirkyness of it was so unique and refreshing plus the beautiful production design!)

2. Silver Linings Playbook (The acting really did it all for me on this one. Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, Robert DeNiro and the return of Chris Tucker. All my emotions. They were phenomenal.)

3. Argo (The rush in my heart was enough to tell me I loved this movie. I kept having to remind myself I was in a movie theater. To give me that experience and that dive tells me a whole lot). 

4. Beasts of the Southern Wild (Like Moonrise Kingdom, the quirky nature of it along with the brilliant acting by all, especially Quvenzhane created one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time).

5. The Hunger Games (I think this movie was very underrated because it was caught in the whole “tween” phenomenon. I think if you step back you’ll see that Suzanne Collins beautifully adapted one of the most popular books of the 21st century into a film loved by most all. I think the acting and the theme of reality and violence on television was conveyed beautifully into a movie for all ages). 

6. Wreck-it Ralph (The warmth and nostalgia of this movie left me smiling and just glowing. And I think the “tribute” aspect of this movie is enough to make it onto my top 10. The characters had so much charm and personality, especially Sarah Silverman’s character). 

7. The Cabin in the Woods (Horror is one of the most unique genre’s in the industry, and to convey all of the quirks and motifs of it into one film is enough to tell me this movie was a masterpiece. No stranger to scifi and horror, Joss Whedon righteously stamped his footprint on the world of film in 2012, with not only the Avengers but this amazing tribute to the horror genre.)

8. Rise of the Guardians (I’m really surprised about the snub of this film. I thought the animation was absolutely stunning, and the storytelling parred with the ability to weave all these fairytales together made it thoroughly enjoyable). 

9. Zero Dark Thirty (The reason it’s all the way down here is because it didn’t reach my expectations, but I did love it. Jessica Chastain did not blow me away, but the true gem of this movie is the final infiltration scene, which I think alone makes it deserve a nomination). 

10. Life of Pi (This is the other movie that failed to meet my high expectations, but I still did really love it. Visually it was absolutely breathtaking and I can’t wait to purchase it on bluray. I think that the acting of Suraj Sharma was also a strong point of this movie.)

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My guilty pleasures/film candy of 2012 in no particular order. 

1. The Avengers (No explanation needed. I never really loved any of the other Marvel films except The Incredible Hulk until this film!)

2. The Amazing Spiderman (The chemistry between Garfield and Stone was what made this movie incredible and separated it from the original trilogy).

3. Prometheus (AHHH, love this movie. It was such a blast. Beautiful visuals and I loved the entire cast and references to past scifi/horror films. :D)

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And here are my rambles! Some of it’s repeated because I wrote it at different times… so bear with me. 

Snubbed: 

Best Picture: 

1. Moonrise Kingdom

2. The Hunger Games

Best Director: 

1. Kathryn Bigelow - Zero Dark Thirty 

2. Ben Affleck - Argo

3. Wes Anderson - Moonrise Kingdom

Best Supporting Actress: 

1. Samantha Barks - Les Miserables 

2. Tilda Swinton - Moonrise Kingdom

3. Anne Hathaway - The Dark Knight Rises (This was kind of the only reason I liked the movie. She blew me away, as she usually does.)

Best Supporting Actor: 

1. Eddie Redmayne - Les Miserables 

2. Ed Norton - Moonrise Kingdom

Best Animated Feature: 

1. Rise of the Guardians

2. The Secret World of Arrietty 

Best Writing - Original Screenplay: 

1. The Cabin in the Woods - Joss Whedon 

Best Writing - Adapted Screenplay: 

1. The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins (No, don’t give me that “it’s for kids” excuse. I thought she did a brilliant job of converting one of the most popular books in the early 21st century to the screen, and obviously most everyone loved it). 

Best Original Score:

1. Moonrise Kingdom - Alexandre Desplat 

2. The Secret World of Arrietty - Cecile Corbel (Both scores were absolutely magical and I listen to them on a regular basis. They were two of the only films with scores that really stood out to me).

Best Production Design: 

1. Moonrise Kingdom (I thought the production design is what stood out to me most! ‘twas breathtaking!!!!!!)

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Most overrated/disappointing movies of 2012 in no particular order. 

1. Les Miserables - The reason this film has made my list was because I think all the wrong things were overhyped! The strength of this film was in its supporting cast. Of course, Hathaway was flawless, but I think Samantha Barks, Amanda Seyfriend and Eddie Redmayne were also brilliant! Hugh Jackman is not what made this movie for me. 

2. The Dark Knight Rises - Hold your horses fanboys. Remember, this is my opinion. You’re entitled to your own top 10. This movie didn’t deliver in a lot of the ways that TDK did. Anne Hathaway as usual was phenomenal, but I thought the movie was just another popcorn flick. 

3. 21 Jump Street - Can somebody please tell me what was funny about this movie? I was really disappointed… 

4. Ted - 5000 too many references from the 80’s, toilet humor, penis jokes and the overused Asian stereotypes make this one of my biggest disappointments. Everything I hate about a film. 

5. Brave - I fail too see how anybody enjoyed this movie. Maybe it was the baby crying in the row in front of me for the first half an hour, or maybe it was the overly predicatable plotline, but this movie was so flat and awful that I couldn’t wait to get out of the theater. 

6. Paranormal Activity 4 - This is no surprise. As a dedicated fan of the first 3, you can only use the gimmick so much and 4 proved that PA’s time is up! While each of the previous movies gave something to add to the franchise’s mythology, 4 just recycled the ending from 3, utilized overly obvious product placement and didn’t have me leaving the theater going OMG. I should’ve gone to see Sinister… 

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Let me know what you thought! What were your favorite and least favorite movies of 2012? Do you agree or disagree with my points? :)

2012 in Review  

I wanted to make a blog post about 2012, because I think I can honestly say it has been the best year of my life. There have been many laughs, tears, and surprises, but I know that I’ve grown mentally, physically, professionally, and intellectually. The following photos are some of the best moments and experiences I’ve had this year and if you were a part of my life, I hope you enjoy reliving some of those moments. :) 

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Barbuda 2012 —

For two years in a row, I was lucky enough to study abroad on the beautiful Caribbean island of Barbuda. While learning about a completely new culture, and about ecology, I also succeeded in completing my first ever public running event! Going to Barbuda this year I learned about the importance of communication and what it means to adapt to a situation that you probably aren’t used to. I remember one night when we discovered a Cuban Tree Frog outside our house. Now the CTF is an invasive species to the island and had only recently begun to breed there, so as scientists and biology students we properly identified the frog before euthanizing it for the sake of the ecosystem. That night was a personal favorite of mine, and I remember saying to my professor, “Wow, I actually feel like a scientist!” Barbuda is always an adventure and I hope I can return there one day. 

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Hip Hop —

Ever since I was 14 and I first saw “You Got Served” I’ve wanted to be in a hip-hop dance group. And this year, I finally got to live that dream. Minds in Motion, the hip-hop dance club at my school was graciously inviting for beginners and the Monday and Wednesday nights that we met quickly became my favorite nights of the week. The group worked me physically and mentally and it was tremendously rewarding. I hope to continue with Minds in Motion for my final semester of college! Not only that, but I bonded with a friend of mine, Nicole, as we both got used to the idea of dancing outside of our dorm rooms! And I’m glad I can now call her one of my best friends!

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WMVL —

WMVL fits in so many ways. But I’ll post the first of three. This really started in 2011, but I asked a friend of mine, Lauren if she wanted to host a weekly radio show with me in the fall of 2011. She excitedly agreed and we quickly became accustomed to the Monday night controlled chaos that was our radio show. The best part of it? I was unnerving an undiscovered passion of mine, and the friendship I formed with Lauren was something I would’ve never anticipated.  Offensively hilarious when we’re together, Lauren and I discovered a comedic groove that has entertained many, if not each other!  

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GSA at school —

I’m a member of the Gay Straight Alliance at my school, and have led many topic events and even helped to organize a few events. My all time favorite event was one call “Homosexuality Across Cultures,” where GSA teamed up with nearly ten other clubs and had a big discussion about the inclusion of LGBTQ people in society. The event had dozens of people in attendance, and it was simply inspiring. We discussed the issues facing the LGBTQ community and solutions in helping LGBTQ people find equal opportunities in life. My school is one of the most international schools in the world, so it wasn’t just a bunch of liberal kids from NY talking about gay rights. No, there were kids from over a dozen different countries using their personal experiences and views to contribute to the conversation. At one point in the evening, a fellow club leader representing the Hawaiian club broke down in tears, moved by the emotion in the room and her hope for a better world. It’s events like those that give me hope for the world, and help me realize my duty to make the world a better place. The picture is of several of my best friends afterwards, who were also present. Left to right: (Me, Ali, Danny, Sofia, Nicolle, Hashim, Barbara, Devin) 

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Michael Jackson: Cirque de Soleil —

Words can not describe the impact that Michael Jackson has had on my life, and the influence his beautiful lyrics have had on the way I see the world. Teaching me to love myself and see the beauty as opposed to the disgust, MJ has opened my eyes up to so much. I was devastated to learn of his passing, but this year I got to see Cirque de Soleil’s concert/show based on his music and wisdom. And let me tell you, it was one of the best nights of my life. The energy within the stadium was incredulous; I felt him there with us. And I luckily got to share the evening with one of my best friends, Ali, who also helps me see the beauty and wonder of life, a rare ability. It’s a night that neither of us will ever forget. 

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ABC News —

This is something I still have a hard time understanding: I interned at ABC News. I can’t go into the exact details of what I did there, but I can assure you I never photocopied one thing or ever did a coffee run. The people treated me like a valuable member of the team and that interaction is irreplaceable. I coud go on and on about what I learned there. I actually wrote everyone a 6 page letter about what I loved about working there, and I hope they understood what I got out of it! I mean, the skills and experience of it all is so irreplaceable and valuable not only for my resume, but for my heart as well. I learned so much about the world, and really found my love for this planet. A news center is an information hub of the world, and you change from that experience. I’m now more attentive to international news and make it my business to stay informed about the world. 

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Meeting Raven Symone —

This may sound like a silly one, but I got to check off something from my bucket list. I met my idol: Raven Symone. Some people may think that she’s an odd choice for an idol, but I absolutely adore her. Whenever I watch That’s So Raven it brings such a smile to my face, even now. Her quirky comedy and simplicity is both inspiring and infectious. Meeting her for all of 30 seconds was satisfying enough. It felt like greeting an old friend. She was so nice and posed for a quick picture before moving on to other people. 

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THIS PICTURE. The one of 10 people… I just love this photo. My fam/friends. 

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Weekend with friends —

This next picture is of a weekend that I’m sure to remember for the rest of my life, because it was just as cheesy, teary and wonderful as I’d hoped. Out with five of my best friends, (Barbara, Devin, Sofia, Danny, Ali) we celebrated a final weekend together before Ali had to go to West Africa to study abroad for 3 months. The weekend was filled with apple picking, horses, and this picnic! I always call the picture, “The Notebook,” because it looks like something that would be in a cheesy Nicholas Sparks film. There were many laughs as we took beef teriyaki and pretzels out of the picnic basket, and many tears as we left the driveway, not seeing Ali again for months! (Well, a few of us snuck to the airport for a final goodbye a few weeks later…) The weekend was such a perfect symbol of what friendship is because I felt that there was not one moment those couple days where I wasn’t smiling. (Okay, I did get frustrated while playing on a level of Kingdom Hearts: DDD, but that doesn’t count).

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Meeting Internet Friends —

With outlets like tumblr and facebook, our young generation is quickly finding friends over the net, and bonding with them, but unfortunately  most of us can’t meet each other in real life. I am thankfully not most and have met many of my internet friends over the years. And none of them were really old creeps! :D This summer was a big meet up for a bunch of my Avatar friends and was especially exciting because I got to meet not only one of my internet friends, but one of my best friends in general, Tyler and it was so awesome! He’s the guy on the far right next to me. He’s just as hilarious, kind and sincere in person as he is online! I always love meeting up with these guys! We toured NY for a week and even though it was partly chaotic, it was fun just being with everyone in person!! 

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Meeting Lev Grossman —

Here we go again, about to use the phrase, “best friend.” I have about 12 best friends FYI, so it’s not like an unlimited term. Haha. But one of my BESTEST friends is Barbara, and we bonded this year over a love for the book “The Magicians,” by Lev Grossman. I love the realism and criticism of the fantasy genre that the book explores and I was so excited to meet the author back in September at a book festival. It was my first time ever at such an event and I’d love to go to more! Barbara and I were fangirling when we met him, and it was such a small crowd at the signing that I think he was really surprised and didn’t know how to react. haha. We had a really cool conversation, and he even gave us some stuff to look forward to for the final book in the trilogy! 

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21st Surprise Birthday Party —

So for my 21st birthday, I had nothing big planned. I was going to buy a few bottles of something, and I invited my friends over to watch The Avengers in my dorm room. But at midnight on my birthday, my roommate (and one of the honored 12, haha) delivered a note to me requesting my presence at an underground tunnel on my school’s campus at 4PM. I also had to wear the provided gray shirt, which had blue arrows down the arms. I freaked out. I was being thrown some kind of Avatar The Last Airbender themed surprise! When I showed up the next day, my friends, the nomads led me through a tunnel singing “Secret Tunnels,” and we then showed up to the field where we played a game of Pro Bending, with water balloons, bean bags and frisbees (in place of water, fire and earth). Afterwards we headed back to the room for Avatar themed cupcakes BAKED BY LAUREN. Ugh, guys, they were like the most delicious thing in the universe. The earth kingdom ones were chocolate chip, the water tribe was cotton candy, the air nomads were marshmallow, and the fire nation ones were HOT TAMALE FLAVORED. Hot Tamales are literally my crack, so I was overly excited. And Barbara made my favorite drink, painkillers, which I first had in the Caribbean  I think I had once off handedly mentioned it to Barbara and she found the recipe online!! They were delicious. After the fact, I discovered that a large group of my friends at school had gotten together to make this happen, especially Amy who came up with the idea, and it meant more to me than Amy or the rest of them might ever know! It was single-handedly the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, and I think about it all the time!

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Dyeing my hair! 

So one of the things I’ve always wanted to do was dye my hair. But at risk of being disowned I was too afraid to. But this year I figured, I’m a senior, I’m 21. YOLO. So with help from Lauren and Barbara I dyed my hair brown!! We bought a dark brown color, but first bleached it, and it turned red over time. I originally wanted the color in the final picture anyway, so I was very happy! I was really going out of my comfort zone when I decided to do this, but I got so many compliments and I’m really glad that I did it! I plan to do it again soon. Same color. My hair got so long last month that I had to cut it and now most of my hair is black again, except for the very front which is a reddish-brown. haha. Lauren and Barbara are wonderful stylists! :D 

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First time Cosplaying!!

At NYCC, I cosplayed for the first time! I was Kid Flash from Young Justice. I had put together my costume with help from friends… I bought shirts from Nike, Adidas, yellow converse, red pants from A Eagle and even steampunk goggles that I painted. I put so much hard work into it, and then my mask didn’t arrive on time! And worse than that, I got sick the weekend of Comic Con! It was kind of awful, but alas I have been wanting to cosplay for years, and even though I was kind of derp, I loved cosplaying and I definitely plan on doing it again! Here is one of my good friends and I having a birdflash moment. xD 

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WMVL Board and Mville News Radio! 

So this past semester I started a news radio segment at school, and it was definitely one of the most enriching experiences of my life. With only minimal news radio experience under my belt, 7 novice radio and news hopefuls and I set out to create a dynamic news program that looked to discuss the key issues surrounding our school, and giving voice to the students who cared. We produced 4 shows with over a dozen different pieces ranging from cafeteria complaints, alumni interviews, horoscopes and even an interview with the President of the college. I can never express how proud I am to be a part of the news radio team, and even prouder to lead it. The 7 members of my team were new and took to the challenge of news radio with the utmost gusto. I think next semester will be even better. And being Senior Producer of Mville News Radio (which is what we call ourselves) meant I also became a pseudo board-member of WMVL Radio overall, being a liaison between news radio and the radio as a whole (which is more music oriented). Working with the board of WMVL was so much fun, and I always felt as if I was working at an actual company. Everyone was connected so well, and we worked very hard to bring major changes to the radio station, and everything will be for the better. I’m very excited for my final semester at WMVL and for future classes as well. :) 

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Filling in the cracks

And no year would be complete without the inclusion of my best friend and brother, Chris! We’re the craziest duo, and I always have so much fun hanging out with him. No “year in review” would be complete without giving credit to this man! He’s creative, smart and hilarious and gonna be famous! Be it riding Kingda Ka at 6 Flags Great Adventure, or pwning n00bs on Halo 4 at 3AM, or going for McDonalds runs at midnight, Chris and I will definitely be brothers till the end. 

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So that’s it! That was longer that I thought it’d be and took me over 2 hours to write! I hope you’ve enjoyed my 2012 in Review. There’s so much more I could say, but I’d have you here all day reading! 

To my friends: you know I love you and even though we’re graduating this next year, I hope we’ll be friends forever and continue to push through all the hurdles and hardships that comes with friendship. Barbara, Ali, Devin, Sofia, Lauren, Nicolle, Taylor, Nicole, Amy, Chris, Stacey, Dylan, Danny, Alexa, Lily, Anna, DeyShawn, Pooka, Shou, Tyler, Mariella, Jacqui, Molly, Jackie, Michele I LOVE YOU GUYS! 

~thatguywiththeblog

This is a piece I wrote several months back, and even though it’s really short I’ve always felt it had a wonderful pinch of personality to it that has made it one of my favorite pieces I’ve written. 

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I nervously pick at my already near-gone fingernails when the pilot announces we’re experiencing some technical difficulties. I un-do my tie and get a disgusted look from the lady next to me who notices my huge, sweaty armpit stains before I do. I take a deep breath, which provides a quick sense of relief until panic washes over again. Where are my cigarettes? I think. Oh wait; you can’t smoke on an airplane, can you? Then again, I don’t even smoke! I unbuckle my seatbelt and sit on my leg looking out at the entire plane. No heads up except mine. How can everyone possibly be so calm?

            “Would you please sit down,” The woman next to me shrieks. “Your knee is in my face!”

            I swallow my spit. “Sorry,” I say as I slowly slouch back into my seat. I wonder if Alice is coming back. Why is she taking so long in the bathroom? Maybe I should go check on her…

            I look up at the selection of buttons above me: one for the light and one that beckons for a flight attendant, which is kind of like a help button. I wipe the sweat off my forehead. I’ve never pressed that button before. I wonder if it’ll make a loudbeep noise. I wonder if everyone around me will be irritated by it. The flight attendant will probably scold me for making them get up and walk all the way over here. I fiddle with my fingers. I’ll just ask them for some water and for a sleeping pill. Yeah, that sounds good. Wait, are airplanes allowed to sell drugs like that? Do they even sell drugs in the first place?

            I shake my shirt, airing out my chest, which is becoming something of a waterfall. I close my eyes, and reluctantly press the button. It let’s out a slight bing! That was awfully loud.

            The woman next to me scoffs and I realize my arm is right in her face. Sorry, I think. Maybe I should’ve said that to her. Now it’s been too long to say without making it awkward. She hates me. I know it.

            Alice begins to walk down the aisle back to our row and I smile wildly. “A-Alice!” I stammer with excitement.

            “Jason, what’s wrong?” She asks confused.

            “You were g-gone for awhile. I g-got worried.”

            She raises her eyebrows at me, looking tremendously lost, “Jason, oh God, you’re sweating so much!” she exclaims.

            “I know!” yells the woman next to me.            

            I look back at Alice. The flight attendant begins to walk down the aisle now. Oh crap! She looks phlegmatic!

            “The p-pilot said w-we were experiencing t-technical difficulties.” I manage to spit out.

            “Jason, it’s only the TV’s that don’t work. Stop freaking out.” She says slowly, as if we’ve had this conversation many times before.

            “Can I help you with something, Sir?” The flight attendant asks.

            “You can help me with a seat change! Are there any other’s available?” The woman next to me begins on a rant of frustration. As Alice squeezes into the window seat, I cover my face in embarrassment. I hate airplanes. 

—

Copyright, Jason McConnell

If you follow these steps, one per day, I 1% guarantee you’ll be a cool white guy at the end of the month!

1. Know at least 9 different types of beer, and at least 15 different types of cocktails. 

2. Watch every movie from the 80’s… EVER. Movie references from this era are EXTREMELY frequent, and you’ll definitely miss 78% of all jokes within your friend group of other cool white guys if you’re not a 80’s movie buff. 

3. Don’t be gay. 

4. Never under any circumstances show enjoyment for any pop singer, even unarguably good singers like Adele or Bruno Mars. You must only listen to rock, hard rock, classic rock, pop rock, alternative rock, punk rock or sometimes metal. Occasionally you can get away with being an oldies fan of artists like Stevie Wonder or Elvis Presley, but you better know your shit when quizzed, and YOU WILL BE QUIZZED. 

5. You better have banged a chick within the past 48 hours of reading this otherwise you’re a homo. 

6. The only stores you’re allowed to shop at are Abecrombie, Abecrombie & Fitch and Tommy Hilfiger. 

7. Your appetite is wide ranging, but nothing beats Chipotle, Subway or that awesome Thai place around the corner from where you work. 

8. Hitting under 4 bars on any given weekend guys night out is just unacceptable. 

9. One of the most crucial rules of being a cool white guy: You must be FLUENT in talking about at least THREE types of sports and have at least advanced knowledge in TWO others. Horse Racing does not count and Rugby gives you extra points. 

10. You either belong to Equinox, Planet Fitness or a private gym that Daniel Craig used to train at. 

11. You love cars. There is no exception to this rule. To be truly classy try favoring the German flavor of automobiles. Italian is too overused, and Japanese is just a insult waiting to happen. 

12. Your knowledge of current events is limited, but still semi-knowledgeable. You know there’s some type of violence in that place near the pyramids, but it’s best to just repeat whatever your parents or bros say because then you don’t actually have to draw your own opinion! 

13. Your favorite television shows are Mad Men, Breaking Bad and Sons of Anarchy. (Every cool white guy marathon’d the first four seasons of Mad Men on Netflix). 

14. Wes Anderson is your favorite film director. 

15. Every cool white guy dreams of making the Mecca-like journey to Amsterdam where you can get ridiculously high, and obnoxiously wasted… things you already do in America, BUT IT’S AMSTERDAM. 

16. Any year of being a cool white guy should consist of at least 3 concerts, 5 sports games (at least 2 different sports), and at least 8 movies (except you’ll only like 2 of them because of their homages to Sergio Leone and the Coen brothers.)

17. For every 10 friends: 7 are white, 2 are black and 1 is something really exotic that you like to talk to to feel especially cool (but in reality he’s only from Connecticut). Only 2 of those 10 are women, and you’ve already banged one of them. The other one is your colleague, and yes, you’ve thought about it many many times. 

18. Women jokes. LOL GET BACK TO THE KITCHEN. 

19. Fortunately, in dating terms, any ethnicity is usually acceptable, and occasionally if you date a minority you’ll get extra points! Yay objectifying women of color!

20. You have either an Xbox or a PS3 that you never really play. You don’t have a Wii, that shit is gay. Your game library consists of 3 Call of Duty games, the past 4 Maddens, and the past 2 FIFA’s. You mostly use your Xbox or PS3 for Netflix or Hulu Plus. 

21. The magazine basket in your bathroom has the past 10 issues of GQ and Men’s Health. 

22. You bathe in Old Spice, and once in a blue moon, Irish Spring. 

23. Your religion? Bros don’t discuss religion, but you were probably raised either Roman Catholic or Protestant. You’re now mildly agnostic, but you really couldn’t care less about what’s above the clouds. 

24. THE CHRISSSTOPHER NOLAN BATMAN TRILLLOOOGGYYYYYYYY. SOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOOLL. 

25. Your knowledge of theater doesn’t extend past the fact that you enjoyed “The Lion King” movie when you were 8. 

26. You don’t even know what No Shave November is for, BUT IT’S COOL SO YOU BETTER DO IT. 

27. Cool white guys do not ever… under any circumstances… dye… their… hair.

28. One or two meaningful tattoos are pretty cool. Maybe a meaningful phrase from your parents or something? 

29. You have 3 pairs of loafers, 3 pairs of converse (or Nike Air), 2 pairs of running shoes and 1 pair of regular vans. 

30. Since the age of 15 you’ve been black out drunk at least… well lost count. FIST BUMP BRO. 

31. The only channel you’ve ever watched on your television is ESPN. 

I’ve never publicly shared any of the book that I’m writing. It’s a fantasy novel about mythology, and teenagers… probably will end up being a YA, but I just want to write it. Anyways, this is always been one of my favorite paragraphs… I’m not quite sure why. Maybe it’s because I love the peacefulness of forest that I wanted to write about it. 

—

Walking to school felt so bland to Evan. There was hardly ever anything that would change. The same cars would be parked in the same place every morning; the same store owners changing their signs from CLOSED to OPEN at a predictable hour. Evan often liked to take the long way through the woods. He lived in Westchester, New York, just north of New York City. Wooded areas were common in the surrounding towns. At least when he was weaving through the trees, there was some expression of change. Sure, the trees didn’t move but the birds never sang the same song twice. The wind blew in unpredictable directions. The smell of the woods wafted into his nose comfortably. The early morning dew created a damp earth, covered in fallen leaves. Each species of tree giving their own flavor to the aroma of the forest: red oak, yellow birch, sugar maple, he recalled from his memory. But most importantly, the woods were the safest place from the noise and exhaust of cars and the prying eyes from other curious town folk. 

He stepped over fallen logs and through piles of dead leaves. The outline of his high school started to take form the closer he got. He looked down, trying to postpone the realization that his education was beginning again for the day. 

So maybe things didn’t work out as planned. Sorry thatguywiththeblog… I thought we’d be closer. Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want from my life and there is definitely a lot of things. But I’ve remained optimistic. So I’m going to try a few things on this blog in the next year and I hope you guys will stick around to enjoy it. :) 

~Jason

In the following interview, resident blogger, Jason McConnell of thatguywiththeblog.tumblr.com and aangthenomad.tumblr.com talks to Giancarlo Volpe about his work and prospects on the recent cartoon, “Green Lantern: The Animated Series.”

—

Here’s a short intro/background for everyone. :) 

A few weeks ago I got to interview one of my favorite animation directors (and directors in general), Giancarlo Volpe! Giancarlo is probably best known to the Avatar fandom as directing practically a third of the entire series, including fan favorites like “The Ember Island Players,” and “Appa’s Lost Days.” “Appa’s Lost Day’s” later went on to win a Genesis award, which is an award for individual’s in entertainment and media who support public awareness of animal rights issues. He also received an Annie Award, which recognizes outstanding animation, for his directing on “The Drill.”

Currently, he is a producer and showrunner of the new “Green Lantern: The Animated Series.” I was a little reluctant when I first saw the series. The animation was vastly different from the familiar 2D Bruce Timm style that we’ve seen in past DC animation. But I was quick to change my mind when I started on the series. Volpe masterfully combines the classic GL storylines with a fresh and compelling new premise that brings famous Lanterns Hal Jordan and Kilowag into the deep corners of space, where they discover a whole new set of villains previously unbeknownst to most of the rest of the Corp, like the Red Lanterns. The villains and supporting characters stem from more recent plots like the Emotional spectrum. The comical banter and tight dialogue that is familiar in all Bruce Timm productions is no stranger to this show and I believe is one of its strongest points. Many younger crowds have struggled with the recent surge of Hal Jordan. Many like myself grew up with John Stewart as our main GL from the JLA and JLU series, but I believe “Green Lantern: The Animated Series,” is a strong compliment and gratifyingly marvelous addition to the vast mythos that John Broome and Gil Kane created years ago. 

One of my classes in the previous semester was taught by former DC Comics President, Paul Levitz! And one of our assignments was to make up mock interview questions for a person of our choice! Well I ended up getting in contact with Giancarlo and here is that interview!

—

JM: What initially drew you to this project? Was the GL mythos something you always had wanted to tackle? 

GV: Initially, no. I wasn’t a huge Green Lantern fan. I had read a handful of comics when I was a kid, but that was it. It was decided before I was even asked to do the job that they were making a Green Lantern series to follow the GL movie in 2011. They approached me about producing because of my experience on Clone Wars. I was really wanting an opportunity to be a show runner, and this seemed like a great offer. So I knew I had to become a Green Lantern fan really fast. 

JM: When working with someone like Bruce Timm who has established a legendary resume in 2D animation, how do you convince or work with him towards something that is entirely new for Warner Brothers? 

GV: Again, that was another choice that was made by our Executive Producer, Sam Register. He knew that a lot of studios around town were making CG shows, and wanted WB to stay competitive. And what better way to assure high quality than to have Bruce Timm run the show? Bruce had some reservations because he had never done CG before. So it was a good fit – I could guide him through the CG process, while simultaneously learning how to run a show with one of the best in the business.

JM: The Green Lantern universe is a vast one, and along with the Hal Jordan storylines, there is quite a bit of material. How do you decide to hone in on a specific setting or storyline? 

GV: A friend of mine told me about all the stuff Geoff Johns had written since he took over the title, including the color spectrums and all that. So I literally bought every volume he had written on Amazon and read them all. That definitely played a huge part in our inspiration. But we also read some of the silver age books as well. Sometimes the old stuff is the best way to figure out what the essence of a classic superhero is. Some of those story lines are a little corny by today’s standards, but the spirit was definitely there. 

JM: Obviously animation directors and live actions directors face a lot of different challenges. Have you ever considered directing live action? And if you did want to, what do you think would be some of the challenges for you? 

GV: I would love to direct live action. In fact, I’m very interested and intrigued by fellow animators that have made the transition (namely, Tim Burton, Brad Bird, Andrew Stanton.). I would imagine my biggest challenges would be mostly technical : knowing what lense to use, what lighting set ups to call for, etc. But I’m kind of assuming that’s what the cinematographer is for. In animation you have incredible control over every single frame because any one can be redrawn (or re-rendered) later. I imagine I’d have to learn to live with a lot more things that aren’t exactly the way I pictured them, but probably work just fine anyways.

JM: What is the best experience or moment you’ve had in your career in Animation? 

GV: There’s two of them. One was winning the Annie award for my work on Avatar the Last Airbender. I still think that is one of the greatest animated projects ever, and I’m not just saying that because I worked on it. I was so proud that the show got recognized, and that I was there to represent it. Another great feeling is how many people approach me to this day and say that Avatar changed their lives. They claim that it made them get in touch with their spiritual side, that it made them want to be better people. Words cannot describe how powerful an emotion that evokes. I am very lucky.

JM: Are there any specific career goals or projects you hope to develop in your lifetime? 

GV: Absolutely. I am very interested in writing and directing my own animated features, and eventually trying live action (as you mentioned earlier). So far I’ve made my career fleshing out other people’s ideas, but I’d really love to say I came up with the whole universe from top to bottom. And I’m ready to go!

JM: After only one episode, GL was nominated for an Annie. Do you think that develops a lot of pressure to continue on a good path or is it more or a relief?

GV: I think it was great for morale. Anytime you work on a show, it involves a very long start up time where you’re working in a bubble. You don’t know if anyone’s going to like it. You just make a bunch of calls based off your own tastes and hunches. When GL finally got out there and we got so many great reviews, it was very vindicating. It made me feel like we were getting it right, and had nothing to worry about. As far as our future, the same care went into upcoming episodes, if not more. I really think we’re getting better at what we’re doing. A lot of us thought “Man, if they liked the premiere wait till they see what’s coming up!”

JM: You were also a director of Nickelodeon, and both that and Warner Brothers are the animation giants on television right now. Are there any major differences between the two companies in the way that the shows are run?

GV: For the most part, no.. But there are personality differences which are dependent on who’s in charge of the studio. I think for the most part WB is a little more “macho” than Nick was, namely because of their reputation of doing super hero shows. Nick also tends to have bigger budgets than WB, which can make things tricky. But GL got more than average budget (as CG tends to require) so I’m not complaining.

JM: What is your personal hope for the show? Is there a certain direction you’d like to see it take at some point? Or is there a certain storyline you want to explore? 

GV: Our writer producer Jim Krieg and I were planning out a four-season arc. We really want to get all the lantern colors in the show, and all the earth Green Lanterns in at some point. So far we’re still waiting for a pick up, so I feel like we’ve only told half the story we set out to explore. It’d be great to finish the tale properly.

JM: You’ve done a lot. You’ve done CG with Lucasfilms, 2D with Nickelodeon and now with Warner Bros. What position or job title do you feel most comfortable in the field of animation? 

GV: I’m lucky in that with each job I’ve gotten, I seem to have climbed another rung on the ladder. Show running is definitely a thrill because you get to come up with EVERYTHING from the basic concept all the way down to locking the final picture. It’s a truly complete storyteller’s experience. But it also means you have a lot more responsibility. Sometimes I long for the “simpler life” of just being an episodic director, but I’ve found every job in animation is pretty laborious. There is no easy gig. So if it’s going to be hard work, I’d rather be the guy in charge so I can at least have fun calling all the shots!

JM: Any hope of seeing a Daffy Duck cameo? 

GV: Ha ha, who knows? There’s some wacky characters in the Green Lantern universe – namely, Ch’p the Green Lantern squirrel and Dextarr the Red Lantern cat. Anything’s possible!

—

There you have it! I hope you enjoyed this awesome interview. Thank you again to the wonderful Giancarlo Volpe for having this interview with me. On behalf of all the fans from Avatar, Star Wars and now GL, we are excited for all the great work that is sure to come from you!

Question for the readers: If you could have any character appear in the GL:TAS show, who would it be and why?

Thanks for reading!

Jason

I wasn’t sure if I was going to make a post about this. It is a sensitive subject, but there has been so much gossip, and frankly rude postings about it that I wanted to put my two cents in. 

I first heard about this rumor when one of my good friends sent me a link to a gossip organization. Of course, I dismissed it. But now apparently it has gained steam and Raven herself even went to her twitter to say the following,

“I’m living my PERSONAL life the way I’m happiest. I’m not one, in my 25 year career to disclose who I’m dating. and I shall not start now…My sexual orientation is mine, and the person I’m datings to know. I’m not one for a public display of my life…However that is my right as a HUMAN BEing whether straight or gay. To tell or not to tell. As long as I’m not harming anyone. I am a light being made from love. And my career is the only thing I would like to put on display, not my personal life. Kisses.” 

My first thoughts is why she would respond to such gossip, which leads me to believe that there may be more to the story. But that is as far as I will go in speculating. As a devoted fan of Raven’s, I will absolutely respect her right to privacy. But I do want to say this. She can be straight, gay or a damn penguin and I will absolutely continue to respect her. She’s been a role model for me since I was in middle school/high school, growing up and she will continue to be one. She’s fierce, she’s fabulous and she’s a great comedienne. Love is love, and she obviously knows that. I would never lose respect for her because of something like this. I hope people will not badger her about this, obviously the media right now only believes in the black or white straight/gay concept. God forbid there is something like bisexuality or maybe just attraction in general. But alas, those are too liberal a concepts for the world as of 2012. 

Keep being awesome Raven! 

~Jason

So, back in the early 2000’s when Mario Tennis was still relevant, it was one of my family’s favorite video games to play together. In fact it was the ONLY game I could ever get my mom to play. My dad was hopeless. He couldn’t even figure out how to play Wii Tennis even though there are no buttons to use…

But my mom had a knack for Mario Tennis on the N64. When we went to my cousin’s house for holidays, we’d all play before dinner. And I noticed my mom got EXTREMELY competitive. This gif is kind of an idea of what she’d scream at my cousin or me. (substitute Carol for Jason). 

“Stay on your side of the court! DAMMIT JASON,” she’d scream at me! I couldn’t believe this. Was my mom legitimately getting this intense over Mario Tennis? Yes. Yes she was. (I’m glad we never played Mario Kart together).

Fastforward a few years later to the release of 

Mario Power Tennis. 

I believe it came out on a school day. My mom said we could get the game because she was interested in playing too. I didn’t take her to be serious. I’d only seen her play video games those few times, years earlier. 

Later after finally finishing my homework, I could finally play! It was only 9PM and I was 13 years old, so I could stay up late! As I approached the basement, which housed my gamecube, my Mom opened the door and ordered me to bed. She informed me that I had a long day ahead of me the next day. I didn’t… I was so disappointed and looking forward to playing, but when Mom gives an order, you FOLLOW IT. Fast forward twenty minutes of me lying dead awake in bed. I can’t sleep. Dammit. Wait. Is that laughter I hear? 

“JESSE STAY ON YOUR SIDE OF THE COURT!” 

OH HELLLL NOOO. I throw off my blankets and rush downstairs to find my brother and my mother in an intense battle of Mario Power Tennis!! 

They were in a contagion of laughter and I couldn’t help but laugh as well. 

“What is going on here?” I demand to know. My mom turns, and instead of yelling just breaks into more laughter along with my brother. 

“We were wondering when you were going to come downstairs!” my brother said. 

I joined them in Mario Tennis, thinking I’d enjoy the night, and that I’d enjoy one of the few times I get to play video games with my mother but DAMN. THAT WOMAN IS THE WORST TEAMMATE EVER. Can you say BOSSY? 

I never played video games with her ever again. 

But damn, I still love the woman! 

—

Fast forward to now, and I’m trying to convince her to play Michael Jackson: The Experience with me. She refuses… even though she is a huge Michael Jackson fan. Well, I have ALL summer to convince her. 

My mother and I at the Michael Jackson Immortal World Tour (which we also attended with one of my bestest friends Ali!) 

~Jason aka thatfunnynerd

So my friend Barbara, that I had a picture with earlier’s tumblr name is “gobytheshadow.” For some stupid reason, for the past year I thought it was “goby the shadow,” not “go by the shadow,” like it’s supposed to be. 

But why. Do you guys ever do this??

I mean, I hope someone sees my name and doesn’t think it’s “that fun new york nerd,” as opposed to “that funny nerd.” 

:( 

The following is a piece I wrote for a class in my freshmen year of college. I’ve recently re-edited it to see if it would still work. nevertheless, this was a memorable experience and i hope you get the same joy out of it while reading my short story. enjoy.

—

The Spelling Bee

By Jason McConnell 

            I spaced out and didn’t even notice the continual incorrect answers. More and more people went to the back aisles with the rest of the losers. This continued until there was just me and one other kid.

            “Today, one of these two young men will be the Salisbury Summer School 51^st Spelling Bee Champion!” the announcer exclaimed. His voice rang through the chapel and complemented the acoustics of the building. I looked over at Connor, the other contestant, and also one of my best friends at the summer school.

            When we stood up and walked towards the stage, I whispered into his ear, “I told you so.”

—

            You know, I’d imagine most people would want to climb Mount Everest, or see the beautiful savannas in Africa, but ever since I was little, I’d always wanted to be in a Spelling Bee. Maybe Akeelah and the Bee had created unrealistic expectations about how my spelling bee experience would go down.

            I’m not necessarily a geek; I don’t get straight A’s. I guess winning a spelling bee just seemed simple enough, kind of like those physically demanding game shows that always seem so easy to the viewer.

            Most spelling bees end before high school, and by tenth grade I’d forgotten about my insignificant goal. But then the opportunity came to go to summer school. Not the summer school where Ricardo, G Blaze and Romeo flick paper clips at you. No, the summer school where the 1% send their snot nosed kids. Too bad, I wasn’t as rude as the rest of the student body; I might’ve had more fun manipulating people in those five weeks of hell.

             It was the first time in my life that I would be away from home so long. My mom said she would try and convince my father to let me come home. The five weeks felt like forever. I’d even planned to escape at one point and catch a bus home.

            So while I endured this bloody hell of a summer, one of the classes was a vocabulary class. The teacher informed us that one or two of the best students in each vocabulary class would be selected to compete in the annual spelling bee. I was honored enough to be chosen to compete. And by honored, I mean I was the only one in my class who cared enough to actually be in the Spelling Bee.

—

The Bee

            Okay, here we go, the start of the Bee. 

            When it was my turn I felt my heart pounding against the inside of my shirt. The sweat sinking down my neck seemed to soak my shirt and shrink it, making it hug me closer. Had I made sure to put on deodorant? Sweat stains in this shirt would be awfully noticeable. Why had I picked this shirt? I carefully got up from my seat in the chapel pew and made sure not to trip and fall on my face in front of a few hundred people. I tried to breathe slowly like my mother always taught me if I started to hyperventilate.

            “Okay Jason, your word…” the announcer began. I was convinced it would be something like “logorrhea” or even “Connecticut” which seemed like an impossibly unrealistic spelling, but somehow the word worked.

            “Vibrant,” he said.

            Vibrant? Had his old ass said “vibrant?” That’s right! G Blaze isn’t the only one with gangsta wit!

            “Vibrant,” I started, “V-i-b-r-a-n-t. Vibrant.” That was easy! The announcer proclaimed it correct and I sat down in my seat with more confidence than before. The words varied in difficulty, but people were being knocked out much quicker than I had thought they would be. I don’t recall my second word. I remember it sounding like diarrhea.

            “Exorbitant,” was my next word. I struggled in remembering whether it was “exorbinant,” or “exorbitant.” I racked my mind; searching for a place I had seen the word before. Aha! I remembered! We went over the word in my 8^th grade English class once, while reviewing other useless English words we’ll never use.

—

One week before The Bee

            It was so hot outside that my eyes began to tear. I’d gone into some kind of trance and the day seemed to shimmer. I barely heard him call my name. “Jason!”

            I quickly perked up. “Uh what? Yeah?” I looked at my arm and a piece of paper was stuck to it. I awkwardly peeled it off.

            “Class is over,” my teacher said.

            “Oh…” I walked out with my friend Brandon.

            As we walked towards the stairs I noticed that there was still a class in session. One of the teachers kept the students in. Connor, my eventual rival, was in the class.

            “Hey Brandon, wait up, we should wait for Connor,” I said.

            “Forget it Jason. That’s the advanced spelling class. Don’t you see what they’re doing in there? They’re spelling. Boring. B-o-r-e-i-n-g. It’s just a bunch of nerds spelling,” he said. I giggled a little bit. “What?”

            “You spelt boring wrong.” He frowned and I broke into a loud laughter. Well he’d have the last laugh because he called me a nerd when I told him I’d be in the spelling bee.

—

The Day Before The Bee

            “You excited for the spelling bee tomorrow?” I asked Connor. We were sitting in his room reading the final Harry Potter book, which had come out just days earlier. We were having a “readathon,” as we called it.

            “Yeah totally! Aren’t you?”

            “Yeah, heh. You know, I’ve always wanted to be in a spelling bee. Sounds nerdy, but I think it’d be a lot of fun!”

            “Yep!”

            “Hey, maybe we’ll meet each other in the finals,” I suggested. “Maybe the two friends with battle it out!” I said the last part in an exaggerated tone.

            Connor let out a snide laugh, “I doubt it. I’ve been studying all summer. Terry and I are the ones that are going to the finals. I’m sure you’ll do good though.”

            I frowned. Terry and Connor were both in the advanced spelling class; they were the front-runners for the spelling bee and even the best spellers in their class. Even though I wanted to agree with Connor, his tone still bugged me. I really wanted to prove him wrong now.

            But I apparently didn’t care that much. Ultimately, I only ended up studying an hour before the spelling bee, and that was only one sheet of words!

—

The Bee

            Connor shot me a phony smile, “You were right, Jason! We were the finalists!” He looked pissed more than surprised or happy. I’d proved him wrong, and at least gotten this far.

            I stood on the announcer’s right and Connor on his left. “Let’s have a great finals,” he exclaimed. Connor stuck out his hand for me to shake. In these situations I’m usually so overwhelmed by everything, my mind becomes oblivious to a lot of things and I almost rudely walked past his handshake. Luckily, I noticed it and shook it. He was just playing me. The audience clapped politely.

            The announcer motioned for me to go sit down. I sat down in the second row. Connor would be going first. The church quieted back down and the announcer returned to his stand. Connor stared at the end of the auditorium patiently waiting for his word. I on the other hand was not at all patient. I caught myself picking at my fingernails. Connor had a huge grin across his face. He was so sure he was going to win. And then the announcer spoke.

            “This final round will be composed of words used in the actual Scripps National Spelling Bee.”

            Did he say Scripps? The Scripps? I wasn’t that good of a speller! And I’d just gotten lucky with easy words so far!

            “The first word is… fossiliferous.”

            Fuck. 

            All was silent as everyone waited for Connor to spell. Connor held his hands together in front of himself.

            “Can I have a definition please?” he asked.

            The announcer flipped through his dictionary with his humungous glasses just like all the announcers did in the movies. I couldn’t tell if it was an act or he was just a dork. “Fossiliferous, meaning to do with fossils.”

            Most of the church filled with giggles from the redundant definition. Connor made a nervous smile. It was not the definition he was looking for.

            “Fossiliferous…” Connor began.

            Here we go! This is it! He’s gonna start to spell! Was it sweaty in there? I pulled my shirt away from my neck. It felt tight suddenly. I was so nervous that I hadn’t remembered that if Connor got the word wrong, I would have to spell it. I didn’t even think of my own possibilities to spell.

            “F-o-s-s-i-l….” he paused, and then continued, “i-p-h.” Did he say “p-h?” I actually wouldn’t have spelt it that way. It was then that I began spelling the word in my own head.

            “U-r…u-s. Fossiliphurus?” He completed the word with a questionable tone.

            I saw the look on Connor’s teacher’s face. It was one of disappointment. The announcer then said, “I’m sorry, that’s incorrect.” Connor let out a sigh and looked to the ceiling and then sat down in the front row. He didn’t look at me as he sat down.

            I got up from my seat and begged my feet to work properly.

            “Alright Jason, if you spell this word correctly, you will be given a final championship word to spell. If you spell this word incorrectly, you will Connor will come back up and we will continue the championship round.”           

            Just give me the damn word, I thought.

            “Your word is also fossiliferous.”

            Without wasting time, I just spelt. “Fossiliferous. F-o-s-s-i-l-i-f-e-r-o-u-s. Fossiliferous.”

            “That is correct!” The audience roared into applause.

            A split second of relief washed over me until I realized I still had another word to spell, and that could go wrong. I looked down at Connor who was feeling really stupid and had his face buried in his palms.

            “Your word is idiopathic.”

            If I told you I think things through, I’d be lying. I do everything before thinking about it. And because of that I’ve been embarrassed many times in my life.

            Years ago, four of my friends and I decided to take a picture of our fingers making a star shape, and one of my friends only had half of a forefinger because of a firecracker accident. As soon as I saw her finger I idiotically shouted, “Eww! What’s that?!” I still feel guilty about it and will still apologize to her.

            With no time to waste, I spoke clearly and quickly.

            “I-d.”

            Every time I spoke a letter I saw the word line up in my eyesight. I could feel my breathing more than ever. I knew everyone was staring at my lips, but had gone somewhere else.

            “i-o-p-a-t.”

            I really can’t believe I was just blurting it out. Shouldn’t I have asked for a synonym or a word of origin? “h-i-c. Idiopathic.”

            There was silence after I completed spelling the word. Even with a few hundred people in the chapel, the white noise was deafening.

            “Jason McConnell, you have won the 51^st Salisbury Summer School Spelling Bee! Congratulations!” The church erupted into applause and every stood up, cheering.

            It was such a strange feeling. I had been in front of applauding audiences. At school musicals, people were already clapping when I would bow and at violin recitals, people clapped out of politeness. Here at The Bee everyone was clapping for me and just me. As my ego soared and I soaked up the fame I nearly jumped when the announcer put his hand on my shoulder and held his other hand out for me to shake. I ended up shaking so many hands I lost count.

            Connor didn’t shake my hand. He didn’t clap and couldn’t even look at me. I saw how much our friendship meant. I’d like to think I wouldn’t respond the same way if I were in his situation.  I shouldn’t let him ruin the moment.

            In the moments of applause I just smiled. I smiled for what felt like a good full minute. After the applause died down, I sat in the front row to await announcements by the teachers. I couldn’t wait to tell my mom. 

—

An hour before the bee

            I had almost forgotten to call my mom to tell her I was going to be in a spelling bee! When she answered, it was so nice to hear her voice and not the answering machine. I had missed her a lot. “Mom, I’m going to be in a spelling bee!”

            She talked to me and gave me some advice. “Don’t worry about Jason. I won a spelling bee when I was your age as well. It’s in your genes!” she jokingly said.

—

The Bee

            As everyone left the church and I shook more hands and received more congratulations, I also noticed from the whispers of some of the more obnoxious students.

            “Have you been studying the whole summer?” or “What’re you a walking dictionary?” “Nerd.” “Nerd!” “NERD!”

            Why was everyone calling me a nerd?! I’d only studied for twenty minutes!

            Fuck. My. Life. 

Hello citizens of tumblr. My name is Jason. And I’ve come to save you from your world of torment for all of 25 seconds before your attention span runs out. 

You might know me from my other blog, thatguywiththeblog.tumblr.com, which is composed of pictures and fantasy art I like to reblog. 

This purpose of this blog is to build my work and my passion for making people laugh through entertainment. 

I will post about personal experiences, do reviews, interviews and even my own prose fiction! I hope you enjoy everything this blog has to offer. 

Feel free to follow! It’s free! 

~Jason aka thatfunnynerd

Tis me and one of my best friends Barbara!